


morning walk

by howtodothis



Series: one shots [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cute Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Hogwarts Era, M/M, Marauders, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Winter, Wolfstar Winter Wonderland Challenge 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:15:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtodothis/pseuds/howtodothis
Summary: Sirius is oblivious, again. Remus is hopelessly in love, again.They watch the sun rise on the coldest night of the year.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: one shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062875
Kudos: 53
Collections: Wolfstar Winter Wonderland Challenge 2020





	morning walk

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this really hungover so excuse the bad writing!

Remus has absolutely no idea why he is awake now. It’s Saturday and his only goal for the day had been to sleep, eat, and then sleep some more. His body is aching after the full moon two days ago and it longs to fall asleep once more. He doesn’t know why this full moon had been so much worse than the last ones, but his body has some new scars to decorate it and he’s just really hoping the next one won’t be the same. He doesn’t need any more marks on his already extremely scarred, scrawny body.

He hasn’t got any deep ones since the guys turned animagi and Moony some new friends to run into the night with. Still, Remus had looked at the new ones covering his body and had fought his best not to cry in front of Prongs, Pads and Wormtail. James and Peter didn’t notice anything. They just wished him well and ran to classes, bless them really. Sirius, to his eternal despair, had not run off. He had sat and joked with Remus until Poppy was finished with caring to his wounds and they were alone. He knew Remus better than anyone, probably a lot better than himself, and had noticed Remus' internal fight to not cry. Sirius didn’t run off to class, but he had instead bent over and whispered something in Remus’ ear first before sauntering off like he had not just killed the boy behind him. “You’re beautiful” he had said.Fucking hell, Remus thinks as he remembers the warm breath of his black-haired friend. So fucking close to his own skin. Fucking, fucking hell he thinks again before burying his head in his pillow, ignoring the person trying to wake him.

“Moooony! Wake up you lazy, lazy boy.” The voice sings again and before Remus can answer, his curtains are being drawn and he opens his eyes to meet his absolute favorite pair of eyes.

The boy is wearing all of his winter clothes and is smiling down at him like Sirius waking Remus up every morning is a normal thing. Which it absolutely isn’t. Even though to be waked by the boy he loves, every morning, preferably in the same bed would be the best normal thing ever. 

“Paaads,” he half moans into his pillow as an answer, “Why the fuck are you awake right now? It’s not even light yet.”

“Well if you have to know, someone once told me how they’d always wanted to see the sunrise from the lake and I woke up feeling inspired” Sirius answers as he plops down on the mattress beside Remus.

Remus turns around surprised and sits up against the headboard to look at Sirius again. He didn’t bother to put on a night shirt last night and even though it’s dark and even though Sirius doesn’t have his night vision he knows that Sirius can see him in all his glory and scars. Remus pretends to not notice the way Sirius’ eyes linger on his stomach a second before meeting his eyes again. He’s probably grossed out about the scars Remus tells himself.

“I told you that at least a year ago”

“Yeah, I know, I know, but I couldn’t sleep. So, I sat in the window, pondering to have a smoke or not and then deciding not to because you would probably wake up because of your wolfie nose.” Remus rolls his eyes at that, but lets the boy continue either way, “So I sat at the window and it started to snow, and I remembered you saying that last year when we were smoking by the window in the common room and I thought that this was the perfect day to do it.”

Sirius gives him one of his best smiles before taking a hand through his hair while Remus watches. He has been letting himself do that more lately. Just watch Sirius. Maybe it’s because Sirius wouldn’t realize that his best mate is actually in love with him even if Remus outright told him or because they only have so much time here left, and Remus really can’t be bothered anymore. Not when the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen is sitting on his bed in the dark asking him to watch the sunrise with him.

“Moony? You there?” Sirius laughs, waving a hand in front of Remus’ face.

“Yeah, yeah give me a second.”

He rubs his eyes one more time before getting out of bed and instantly regretting not wearing more clothes.

“Bloody hell it’s freezing.” He mutters on his way to the bathroom. He doesn’t see the way Sirius’ eyes linger on his bare back until the door shuts between them.

When Remus comes out the same door ten minutes later, the dark-haired boy is still lounging on his bed. Inspecting one of the many books sprawled on Remus’ bed. He puts it down the second he sees Remus.

“Ready?” He smiles at him and tosses the book back at its pile.

“What about Prongs and Wormtail?”

“They didn’t nag about wanting to watch a sunrise.” Sirius says dismissively on his way out the door.

“You didn’t either,” Remus says, trailing after him.

“I did in my head honey” Sirius mocks, and Remus thanks all the wizards that he’s behind him so that he can’t see the blush forming on Remus’ cheeks.

Outside it’s freezing, and Remus would give everything to have something, someone to hold on to as they make their way down to the lake. It’s slippery and dark and they have to cast _Lumos_ to see where they are walking. The walk itself isn’t very long, but it feels like hours before they’re at the bottom of the alley. And just before they reach it Remus feels his feet slip before he can react. He swears it feels like he’s dying a couple of seconds before a pair of strong arms catches him.

“Fucking hell moony, watch where you go” Sirius laughs and helps him stand straight and turn him.

Remus feels stupid and laughs himself until he notices that Sirius hasn’t let go. Remus is very much still in his arms, and now they’re face to face and their breaths create a cloud between them. He meets Sirius’ eyes and there’s something different about them now. Something uncertain in those eyes whom always seems so certain.

“Thanks” He whispers between them and gives a smile he hopes says all the things he can’t.

_“Thanks, I am deeply in love with you._

_“Thanks for touching me so long. Can you hold me forever?_

_“Thanks for being the most oblivious person ever and not noticing the way I stare at you every day, every moment, and therefore ruining our friendship because you think it’s disgusting._

His smile does not say all those things and before he’s ready, Sirius releases him and walks the last steps down to the lake. The sun’s slowly starting to come up and it shines a light over the frozen water. Making it look like glass instead of ice. Remus looks at Sirius’ relaxed posture and wants to walk over and wrap his arms around his body. Warming both of their bodies up and possibly never let go.

“What are you doing? The view’s best here” Sirius interrupts his thoughts and beckons him to him with a wave and that _Black_ wink Remus is lucky enough to get sometimes. Yeah, most of the girls in their year has gotten that wink since they were thirteen, but Remus still catches everyone sent his way and holds them in his pocket for safekeeping every single time.

They watch the sunrise in silence. Side by side. Both with a soft smile on their faces and Remus knows that this is the moment. This is the moment he should let out his feelings. The moment he finally says “Sirius, I love you so much please just kiss me”. He knows if there ever a chance is to not fuck it up, this is that chance. Still, he stands there in silence. He stands there and steals glances at the boy next to him and can’t get himself to ruin this moment forever. In fear of what he would do. What _would_ Sirius do? Would he punch him? Laugh at him? He can’t dare hope that he would kiss him.

Sirius is the one who breaks the silence. As always.

“You don’t have a fag, do you?”

“No, forgot them. Sorry”

“No no, it’s okay,” Sirius says, stroking his hands together to warm them up. “Just cold you know.” He blows into his palms.

“The suns up, we could go back?” Remus asks.

“Nah, it’s still pretty.”

Remus looks up at the boy and instead of meeting his side profile once again, he is met by those stormy eyes he has been known to love before. Has Sirius been watching him too? No, it must have been a coincidence. Their staring game has been one way for the last four years, Remus is sure. Still, he decides to not turn away just yet. He lets his eyes linger on Sirius’ and is surprised that he doesn’t move his away either. If Remus believed in signs telling him what to do, this would probably be a sign, wouldn’t it?

“Sirius?” Remus asks and finally tears his eyes away to look at the lake again. Deciding that if he is actually going to do this. If he is actually going to let out his darkest, most holy secret, he can’t look him in the eyes. He would probably die if he did that.

“Yeah Rem?”

“What would you have done if I said something to you?” He starts, not sure where this is going to end up.

“¨You are already saying something to me.”

They both laugh a bit at that, but Remus takes a deep breath to compose himself and try again. 

“Not just anything, but like a secret. A secret about me, and kind of about you.” He whispers the last words, but Sirius' head still jerks up at the mention of him.

“I’m pretty sure I know everything about you Moony”

“No,” Remus says a bit more certain now. “No, you don’t actually. There is something else. That nobody knows, or maybe Lily does, she picks up on everything, like me being a werewolf. She knew about that before any of you did. She just didn’t mention it before I told her. She just gave me these knowing looks and she has been giving more” A hand comes up to his shoulder and stops him in his words.

“You’re rambling Remus.”

Remus smiles shyly and looks at the ground. He shuffles some snow off his boots and decides to just fuck it and say it. If there is one thing you can’t do around Sirius, it’s being cryptic.

“Fucking hell Pads, the things you make me do. The things you make me want to do to you.”

He meets Sirius’ eyes again and they’re a sight to be seen in their complete confusion.

“I like you okay? And don’t say you like me too because I mean, I like you more than a friend.”

Again, silence fills the air and if it wasn’t for his desire for Sirius to take his words seriously he would have laughed at the hopelessness that was himself. Laughed at the stupidity of his words and the whole fucking situation. He doesn’t laugh though. He forces himself to be silent and wait for the words that will definitely break him. One way or another.

“I like you too” Sirius eventually says and Remus interrupts before thinking.

“I literally just told you to not say that you dumb,” He doesn’t get to finish that sentence because Sirius’ lips are on his and they are burning with heat. Sirius’ gives him everything in his kiss and before Remus can start to take some back, his feet loses their grip again and both of them fall into the deep snow. Sirius lands on top of Remus and huffs out a surprised laugh when Remus groans with the weight. Sirius starts to lift himself up, but Remus’ arms moves without his permission and hold him down. 

“What did you just say?” He whispers.

“I like you too” Sirius repeats and then four words Remus never thought he would hear. “Can I kiss you?”

Remus nods slowly and the next thing he feels is those burning lips against his own again. But now they’re not burning with heat. They’re soft and warm and they’re both love and safeness wrapped up in a freezing cold kiss. He can feel the snow sneaking inside his shirt, but he couldn’t care less as he lets his hands roam free in Sirius’ hair. The kiss isn’t the teeth and tongue he often dreamt it would be, but it’s still everything he ever wanted really. He feels Sirius smile into his mouth and in this moment. This moment specifically, Remus feels he will never belong to someone more than this. He will never feel this safe, this good ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> first fic I've written in a while, hope you liked it! Leave a kudos if you did<33


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